Journal+7

Shannon Brenner Mrs. Detwiler Honors English I   May 6, 2011 The Death of a Loved Parent Cancer is a deadly illness that affects families, which just happened to happen to the Meyers family. Cindy Meyers, mother of Doug Meyers, died after a long battle with Pancreatic Cancer, which is the growth dangerous cells in the pancreas. The Meyers family had found out that Cindy had cancer over the Christmas break after she had a severe pain in her stomach. It took almost six months for the doctors to finally figure out that she was very sick. She battled and battled until she couldn’t take anymore and then passed on. Their lives changed forever and now there is only Doug and his dad. He said that he is now closer to his dad because he is the only person in the house that he can talk to, and misses his mom for her advice and wisdom. Pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadly of all cancers and has symptoms of weight loss, loss of appetite, and digestive problems (Neindolf). A treatment that can help to get rid of this cancer is surgery, but may not always work because the cells may have already spread throughout the body. If the surgery does not work there may be some complications such as bleeding, and infection (Neindolf). “In most cases, it is difficult to determine the cause of pancreatic cancer. Both environmental as well as genetic risk factors have been suggested for pancreatic cancer. A high-fat diet has been linked to increased pancreatic cancer risk, whereas diets high in vegetables and fruits seem to lower the risk. Smoking is known to increase the risk of pancreatic cancer; it is estimated that as many as 30% of pancreatic cancer cases are linked to smoking. Alcohol use and coffee consumption have been linked with increased pancreatic cancer (Neindolf). Fortunately, he believes that his mom is in a better place and is out of her misery and pain. When visiting her in the hospital, Doug felt as though there was nothing he could do to help her and just wanted to take the pain away and put it upon himself, which shows how much he truly loved his mother. Most teenagers that lose a parent due to death may get depressed in order to cope with it. There are ways and therapy for those who want or need help in the recovery of coping with their depression or the death. There are Mental Health Institutes, School Councelors, Support Groups, Church Groups, and many more. In Doug's situation he has his dad and has faith that his mom is in a better place. Most teens that lose a parent to death cope with it in a five-stage grieving state which includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance (Arenofsky). The factors shaping grief includes whether it is the first or last parent/guardian to die, how the death occurred and the current situation of the family, the gender of the parent that was lost, and unresolved conflicts that may still be on the mind (Kearl). Death can either pull families closer together, or it can tear them apart. Camps are a great place for families and friends to grow closer together and to deal with the death that they experienced. "Families frequently do not express the depth of their feelings in an effort to protect each other from sadness.” Says Patti Savage, bereavement coordinator for BridgeHaven Hospice. Camps are a great place for families to learn to grieve face-to-face together and be comfortable doing it. "Children are often overlooked during the grief process because adults are either so overwhelmed with their own pain or they just do not know what to say”(Houston Chronicle). When teens lose a parent at such a young age, it can affect them later in life also because they may feel jealous of their peers that may have both parents and then want that for themselves. Research has shown that after the death of a parent teens may feel left behind, angry, that it’s somebody’s fault, lost, mad at everybody, and have a loss of direction(winterspring). These feeling can come very easily and maybe not even go away very fast until you have time to get over the death. Many families have financial problems in their normal life and can get harder and harder to pay the bills after the death of a parent and a key money maker. Studies show that 45 percent of Americans that have lost a money maker, parent, or spouse has had a negative impact on their families finances. With now only one key person to pay the bills, the teen or even children may have to get some work to get money and help with the finances. In Doug's case he is about old enough to now get a job of his own and help his dad with the paying of the bills. In the mind of Doug Meyers, the death of his mom brought his whole family closer together in the emotional state. They now can lean more than ever on each other and are there for each other whenever they need. “Most people need comfort and support while they grieve, from their relatives and friends, perhaps from members of the clergy, from therapists, or members of a support group. When the death is sudden and unexpected, the shock of the news makes the reality all the more difficult to accept. Such shock can take time to fade”(Death and Dying). This quote has such meaning because the facts are true and real, the unexpected death of a family member can feel surreal and not right because they were just there with you, and the fact that they are now gone, can hit you hard. The Meyers family of two is now doing just great and are going about their lives with the thought and love of Cindy in their hearts. Even though she is gone and in a better place they will always miss her and will always grieve even though Cindy might not like that. As one of the most famous quotes says, “You never know what you’ve got till its gone.”

Works Cited Brenner, Nancy. Personal Interview. April. 13. 2011.   Arenofsky, Janice. "When life strikes a blow." //Current Health 2//, a //Weekly Reader// publication Mar. 1998. 25+. //Student Resource Center - Gold//. Gale. Web. 31 Mar. 2011. Kearl, Michael C. "Death of a Parent: Transition To A New Adult Identity." //Social Forces// 86.1 (2007). 361+. //Student Resource Center - Gold//. Gale. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. Niendorf, Kristin, MS, CGC, and Edward Rosick, DO, MPH, MS. "Pancreatic Cancer." //The Gale Encyclopedia of Genetic Disorders.// Ed. Laurie Fundukian. Vol. 2. Detroit: Gale, 2010. 1169-1174. //Gale Virtual Reference Library//. Web. 18 Apr. 2011. "BridgeHaven Hospice offers camp for children dealing with grief." //Houston Chronicle// [Houston, TX] 28 June 2000: 3. //InfoTrac Newsstand//. Web. 24 Apr. 2011. "Death and Dying." //Human Diseases and Conditions, 2nd ed.// Ed. Miranda Ferrara. 2nd ed. Vol. 2. Detroit: Charles Scribner's Sons, 2010. 481-484. //Gale Virtual Reference Library//. Web. 24 Apr. 2011. "Feelings Teens May Feel after the Death of a Parent, Sibling, Friend or Loved One." //Feelings Teens May Feel after the Death of a Parent, Sibling, Friend or Loved One//. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Apr. 1929.